Start Carving Out
Your Private Practice Niche
Part
II: Identifying
and Overcoming Your Emotional Blocks
by John T. Carlsen, Psy.D.
Many recent graduates in psychology - and even
established professionals - dream about starting a private practice. The
majority of them move no farther - the dream stays a dream, and they stick
closely to their established routines. They keep this dream hidden away,
thinking of it as one of those "what - if" scenarios they might pursue
if their day job became too demanding or they suddenly came across a well of
untapped courage. They treat it almost as a stash of money safely tucked away
in the drawer beneath their socks or sweaters that might rescue them in an
emergency some day
If you would include yourself in of this group,
you might periodically wonder what keeps you from moving forward. You cannot
stop thinking about your running your own business. Every day, on the way to
and from work, you daydream vividly about what you could do if only you had
the courage. You hear about the newest version of Dr. Phil and think to
yourself: "I could have written that book" or Why is he making so
much money while I am still slogging away with such a low salary at this
community agency?" You regularly fantasize about being your own boss,
using your talents in something you enjoy. . . maybe even being well-paid for
doing something you would otherwise do for free. Yet, you cannot help but wonder
what keeps you
from moving forward and bringing your vision into reality.
Why do you have so much trouble taking even the
first step?
What keeps you so blocked? After all, you are a trained
professional who knows a great deal about what it takes for people to change.
You have detailed understand of the internal and external obstacles that keep
people stuck and how to work around them. You know what it takes to motivate
people. You know the meaning of determination and commitment (after all, you
completed a graduate degree in a very challenging profession). And, you know
that you have some unusual and very worthwhile expertise that could help other
people solve problems and accomplish great things with their lives.
Nevertheless, something keeps you locked in the
safety of the familiar. It prevents you from taking those bold first steps to
start sharing your gifts with the world around you. But, what is it? Maybe,
deep down, you fear that your dream would turn into a nightmare. Maybe you
wonder how you would keep yourself afloat financially? Or, maybe you just
don't know where to start.
Regardless of your answers to these questions,
it is not at all surprising that you have not moved forward yet. The fact is,
no matter how much you know about motivation and self-discipline or how
skilled you are at helping other people change, you do not have a corner on
what it takes for people to help themselves change. You are no more likely to
bring your dreams into reality than the next person, simply because you are a
therapist. And, as you know, making changes is extremely difficult, and it is
a lot easier to help someone else change than it is to start making changes in
your own life.
So, where do you start?
Differentiating the Two Types of Fear That
Stand in the Way of Your Dreams
The key to understanding these external blocks
is recognizing the role of your emotions in keeping you from moving forward.
The primary emotional obstacle in the change process is fear - fear of the
unknown and fear of losing your safety or stability.. So, the more you
understand about how these fears operate in the creative process, the better
your chances of addressing them effectively and freeing yourself to start
creating the private practice you want.
Fundamentally, human beings experience two
kinds of fear: Survival Fear and Emotional/Psychological Fear. Although they
appear similar on the surface, they actually serve distinctly different
functions in most people’s lives. Survival Fear, on one hand, helps people
to avoid situations and experiences that place their lives at risk or, at
least, threaten their physical safety. This is the kind of fear that reminds
you to look both ways before you cross the street. It also reminds you to
pause before diving into a lake when the water is too dark for you to see any
rocks lying just below the surface and to avoid spending too much more money. than
you have.
Emotional/Psychological Fear, on the other
hand, often kicks in much more quickly and affects people more deeply than
necessary, given their actual circumstances. It appears to be designed to keep
you safe, but it actually functions more generally to prevent you from acting
out side of your comfort zone. It is primarily a neurotic fear that prevents
you from taking any steps toward something new, regardless of your level of
preparation. Under the guise of protection, this fear keeps you from taking
any action at all.
For the most part, however, they cause
reactions far out of proportion to the actual events or potential consequences
associated with any new venture. They seem to be a holdover from an earlier
evolutionary time before people had the capability of planning to avoid
unnecessary risks. What is more significant is that these fears can transform
into Survival Fears if people remain ignorant of them and the messages they
bring. If you continue treating all of your fears the same way,
you will always act as if every new step you take is placing your life or your
future in jeopardy, as if anything you do will compromise your physical safety
and security. Thus, you might never write a business plan or place a
classified ad for your services in the newspaper because you feel threatened
by doing something so different from your normal routine. You might continue
to convince yourself that, like so many small business owners, you will
ultimately fail if you take a chance. Ultimately, which of these two kinds of fear
becomes associated
with a particular experience depends on you, the individual.
A simple example illustrates the differences
between these kinds of fear more clearly.
Imagine for a moment that you are at
an amusement park such as Six Flags Great America. You are sitting in tall
building whose windows look out onto one of the fastest roller coasters.
Imagine that you are looking through a telescope that allows you to focus on
the facial reactions and body movements of the riders. As you watch each
successive string of cars rush down the steep incline, you would probably see
a number of people raising their hands over their heads and opening their
mouths as they appear to be screaming. Without being able to hear
any sound, what conclusion would you draw about these people? Would you
describe them as terrified? Or ecstatic?
If you are like most people, you would probably
base your answer on your own experience of and feelings about roller coasters.
Ironically, however, you would have no way of knowing for sure unless you
could ask them individually. And, their answers would probably depend on
whether or not:
- they feel safe in the car - that is, whether
they trust
the nuts and bolts to keep them locked in their chairs and to keep the cars
on the rails - or not,
- they define intense stimulation and a lack of
control over their surroundings more as exciting and attractive rather than
as an unpleasant experience to avoid at all costs,
- they freely chose to ride in the roller
coaster versus having been persuaded against their better judgment by well-meaning
friends who convinced them that they would have a good time.
Essentially, what separates the thrill-seeking
from the merely panic-stricken roller coaster riders is their point of focus.
The thrill-seekers, on one hand, have calculated their risks. They probably
checked out the stability of the ride, recognized their statistically-minimal
chances of becoming injured, and chose to place their trust in the expertise
of the engineers who designed and built the ride. They also know that they
enjoy the exhilaration of living a little more on the edge. And, of course,
they probably made a free choice to get on this ride.
The panic-stricken, on the other hand, seem to
have some difficulty trusting the physical world. They focus too much of their
attention on what could go wrong. This prevents them from letting go and
simply enjoying the ride. They might quickly scan the bolts that fasten the
cars to the track and wonder if they are coming loose or periodically look
down and remind themselves of how far they are from the ground. Or, they might
remind themselves of articles they have read about previous accidents
involving roller coasters. Moreover, they might have gotten on the ride
because of subtle pressure from their friends rather thank because of their
own free will.
So, what does all of this have to do with
creating your private practice niche?
The truth is, if you fail to learn to tell the
difference between these two kinds of fear, you might never start moving
forward to bring your dreams into reality. Instead, you will stay trapped in
your fears. Unfortunately, the more firmly you believe that your fears reflect
external reality accurately - and the more exclusively you rely on them in
deciding whether or not to take action - the more paralyzed you will feel
about your ability to move forward. In short, if you continue to treat all of
your fears equally - as Survival Fears - you will never more beyond the status
quo.
One of the first steps toward gaining a handle
on how to handle your fears is recognizing these types of fear at work in your
own psyche. The following comparison of some common fears might help you start
learning to differentiate Survival Fear from Emotional/Psychological Fear and
giving them their proper role in the process of bringing your private practice
dream into reality.
| Type
of Fear |
Survival
Components |
Emotional/Psychological
Components |
| Fear
of Failure |
|
- keeps you from going after your dreams by
preventing you from even starting or taking the next step toward a goal,
often taking the form of procrastination, distractions, perfectionism - whatever will keep you from taking concrete, actual steps
- includes common avoidance behaviors such as
continually researching, reading, or learning about starting a private
practice rather than gaining hands-on experience from actually running an ad
and working with a client
- keeps you from trying something bold or new, outside your comfort
zone that does not fit with the perception
you and others already have of who you are
-
keeps you from allowing yourself to learn
what you do not know or, maybe, thought you never could learn, such as
accounting, marketing, sales, or web-page design
|
|
Fear of Competition
|
- prevents you from living in the illusion that
prospective clients will automatically choose to work with you rather than
with other practitioners, simply because of what you or others believe about
your competence level and qualifications
- ensures that you will set aside the time and
energy necessary to uncover your unique gifts and talents and find ways to
promote them to prospective clients that differentiate you from other
providers with similar qualifications and highlight the benefits you, alone,
can offer them
|
|
|
Fear of irrelevance
|
-
prevents you from becoming complacent about
your existing skills and knowledge and, instead, compels you to continue
building and refining your expertise so you can provide high-quality,
cutting-edge products and services for your clients in a timely manner
-
keeps you focused on developing and offering
products/services that people actually need, rather than simply those that
you want to create and offer
|
- stimulates you to continue finding innovative
ways of applying psychological principles to real-world problems as society
continues to evolve and clients needs continue to change in corresponding
ways
- keeps you motivated to develop your expertise
in your particular area so you become the best (or one of the best)
providers of that product/service
- keeps you focused on making sure that your
prospective clients will realize their need for your products/services
(i.e., that their pain or frustration will continue without help from you.)
- pushes you to spell out for yourself and for
prospective clients _ specifically _ how working with you would help them to
reach their goals
|
| Fear of poverty |
- keeps you focused on charging high enough
fees so that you can pay your expenses and earn income rather than
under-valuing your expertise as most therapists do
- keeps you focused on determining the value of
what you have to offer and finding ways to communicate that to your
prospective clients. Start with a lower fee for a smaller piece of work and
increase your fee as more people start wanting your service or as your
existing clients want more of your service.
- pushes you to you find ways that your
prospective clients will be able to find you when they need you through
easily-accessible means such as telephone books, websites, and written
brochures or advertising
|
- keeps you trapped in the safety of a familiar
job where you can draw a stable paycheck despite the fact that you have
mastered all of your responsibilities and have nothing new to learn from
this work
- prevent you from sharpening your financial
skills by learning to prepare a budget, track your expenses, and familiarize
yourself with business tools such as spreadsheets and profit-and-loss
statements,
- prevent you from investing the money and
effort necessary to create as practice environment that will attract
prospective clients, such as hiring a graphic designer to create your
business logo, working with a web-page designer, or locating your office in
a high-rent, high-traffic area.
|
As this illustration shows,
Emotional/Psychological Fear can easily masquerade as Survival Fear.
Thus, if you are not careful, you will find yourself continuing to act as if
any new action you take threatens your physical safety and well-being.
Imagine, however, if you treated all of your
fears this way. You would never cross the street for fear of being hit by a
car or buy a new outfit because people might think it is not "you".
Eventually, your life would become rather boring. This is what happens when we
pay too much attention to safety and not enough to adventure.
The key lies in learning to tell what the
jitters in your stomach mean. Are they simply the natural stage fright that
reminds you to sharpen your presentation or acting skills before going in
front of a large audience? Or, could they partly stem from the excitement and
anticipation that arise when you do something that tests your limits and gets
you out of your comfort zone? The more clearly you can differentiate the
Survival components from the Emotional/Psychological components of this kind
of fear, the more likely you are to keep the latter from inhibiting your
forward movement toward realizing your dream.
Barbara Sher, author of Wishcraft, says,
"Fear is the natural companion of creative action." That is, you
will never learn or accomplish or create anything of value if you cannot let
yourself make mistakes. You will never feel really bad when you have given
something your best shot. The truth is that you will be much more shattered if
you decline to give something your best efforts - especially something so
important as this dream of private practice - and fail than if you fail
despite having pushed yourself to exert the maximum effort you can.
Ultimately, you will never know whether you could have done better, but you
will always remember the outcome if you know that you could have done more but
chose not to do so.
So, go ahead.
Give yourself permission to take a few bold
first steps toward this exciting new venture. Design a business card or
brochure that shows your passion and enthusiasm for making life a little
better in your corner of the world.. Start jotting down some creative
and inspiring names for your practice. Write a rough draft of your first
workshop or article. Design the cover of your next book (even if you
have not written your first one yet). Write the glowing biographical
statement that you want them to read when they introduce you as the
key-note speaker for some innovative exciting conference. Let your
imagination run wild. Open your first business checking account and
deposit some money in it. Start building a nest egg that will pay your
first two months' office rent. Or make a list of the organizations and
events where you would like to present your ideas. Maybe even make that
first phone call or letter of introduction to set up your
presentation.
Then, stop and look around you . Chances
are, nothing has changed. . . around you. You probably have not risked your life or
even come close to failure. For now, all of
this is just on paper. Then, notice the feelings that came up as you
tried any of these new activities. You probably triggered a great deal
of fear. . . and maybe even some old familiar negative self-talk. But,
inside, you are completely different. You have started to see the power
of taking action, even before you feel ready. Take a few moments to see if there is some excitement mixed in
with the fear. See if you can start teasing out the excitement so you
can tell these emotions apart. Barbara Sher says that if your palms are
not a little sweaty and your heart is not beating a little faster, you are not
aiming high enough. Go for the gusto. You can always take out a
new piece of paper and start again. Just do not quit your day job until
you have something strong enough to stand on. For now, allow yourself
just to dabble.
In the end, learning to recognize when your
fears are more psychological and emotional than survival-based will greatly
enhance your ability to push through them to reach your goals. Or, even, to
take the first few steps. You will set aside the time to make plans and
think through ways to avoid taking unnecessary risks. But, once you have
started on the path toward your dreams, you will never want to turn
back. The courage will grow stronger as you continue to move
forward. And, when the
underlying goal is something is as important as your creative and professional
fulfillment. . . can you imagine settling for less than your best
effort?
John T. Carlsen, Psy.D. is
a licensed clinical psychologist who trains and supervises psychology interns
and externs. He offers personal coaching and training resources for graduate
students applying for internships and post-doctoral jobs. Click here
to learn more about how to write
effective applications and prepare for interviews. Click here
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